What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
12.06.2025 01:47
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
TEXT:
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
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Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
What is the degree of influence of Saudi Wahhabism on the modern Muslim world?
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
Do straight guys like to have sex with men when they smoke meth?
Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
How do I develop the patience to read books?
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
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Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
What's the most incredible coincidence that ever happened to you?
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
If there exists a “New York of Australia”, is it Sydney or Melbourne?
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Make Nazis afraid again!